Sweet November

I can't believe it's the first day of November already! My goodness, time flies. So many new things have happened! Here's some bullet points to help make the entry I'm posting look more spiffy:

• I haven't had my car for the past 2 weeks because the engine busted. I also have a problem with the transmission :-/ So Jamie (my bff) and Kevin (my boo ;) and Angelica (nursing classmate/Korean popstar lover) have been driving me around everywhere. I'm so blessed to have such serving friends! They always say you never know what you got until it's gone, and MAN it was difficult not having one. The car was repaired yesterday and I'm so thankful to be able to drive around again (to get to school, to drive my auntie to the hospital to take care of my grandpa every day, and to get to work...)
• Praise the Lord! I was given two part-time jobs. One as a tutor for an elementary school (which would be great training for my future as a mother) and also a caregiver (also great training for motherhoood lol). I will work 8 hours as a tutor each week, and 12 hours as a caregiver (this varies...) so about 20 hours a week of work. But it's so nice to have an income, seeing as I'll be a married woman in 4 MONTHS!!! AHHH!!! Also, who knows how long it will be before I find a job as an LVN?
• PRAISE THE LORD EVEN MORE! Kevin is now a student at the Master's College in Santa Clarita! He started the same day as Alejo (AKA TODAY!). They have class once a week on Tuesday evenings. They are both in the Degree Completion program (there are 3 requirements to be in this program: 1) you must be 25 years old, 2) you must be married and 3) you must work full-time...did you notice that Kevin only has one of these requirements down? LOL. they are so gracious to allow him to start asap!) On every other Tuesday we have Excellent Wives Ministry for church, but on the Tuesdays there aren't, I can accompany him and hang around with Bethany! The coolest part about this is that they like to encourage and support marriage so spouses can take the class too! I'm so stoked! Kevin put in his two week's notice last week so he's back in school and getting ready for the long nights of homework, reports, and readings!
• God has really convicted me of my sin of lack of contentment. This whole past year I've wasted countless opportunities to be a light to my classmates and family, because of my grumbling and complaining about whatever wasn't happening my way. I've been so bogged down by my family and by scary teachers, and wish I had handled it better. I've been praying more for contentment in the Lord regardless of circumstances (the Apostle Paul learned to be content in whatever circumstances he was in: Philippians 4:11-12). I have to pray every day to be joyful, and to not be easily angered if my family does something that hurts my feelings. It's really tough. God is humbling me and showing me more and more how much of a sinner I am, in need of His grace and power to be more like Him. The scary thing is...everything that comes out of my mouth is from my heart. My complaining and bitter thoughts are all stemmed from my heart, that's why it says "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23).
• Ate Rona told me a while ago to start reading books on how to raise children. I told her that I didn't want to lol. The reason? Well, the last year and a half before Kevin pursued me I always read books on becoming a woman who pleases God and a godly wife and read about gender roles. God was preparing me to be a wife, sooner than I thought! I told her that if i start reading I'm afraid I'd become a parent sooner than I hoped HAHAHA she told me I was being ridiculous, which of course, was the truth! Today I was looking at Parenting magazines and was really happy reading them. Kevin and I don't want to have kids anytime soon after the wedding day, we wanna wait at least 5 years. But who knows? God might have other plans (such as: BOOM baby is out right away, or YOU WILL NEVER HAVE BABIES EVERRRR!!) man...if I was barren I'd be so sad! But if that was God's will for me, what could be better?
• I'm still in school and studying for NCLEX. I have prep classes twice a week (Wednesdays and Fridays). Hopefully I can take my NCLEX by December. It might end up being January or February though. We'll see. I'm actually blogging because I don't wanna study! But after I'm done I'll have to study some more T__T
• Wedding planning is still really slow but I'm glad to know we have a venue for the wedding and reception. I had to switch it up with some bridesmaids because my family wants my cousins to be part of the bridal party, so I'm thankful my friends are lenient and not taking personal offense at the changes. I went from 8 bridesmaids to 5 or 6. It really all depends. Half are good friends, and half are cousins. We'll see how this turns out. Kevin and I hope to have some invites out by the end of this month.
• I like bulletpoints.
• I don't like cilantro.

Okay, I guess it's time to study again. I hope everyone is blessed! I CAN'T BELIEVE 2011 IS ALMOST OVER!!! AHHHH!!! 2012 is just around the corner...who doesn't love new beginnings though? I'm so excited for 2012 :)

wedding of my dreams...

man, i dunno what's going on with me, but recently i've had a LOT of weird dreams. for example:

dream #1: happened a few months ago, but i was at a speedzone place where kids like to go, but i was preparing to get married in this horrendous tie-dye, medieval style dress, getting prepared with some blonde woman and it was just falling apart from behind me as i walked down the aisle! while i was walking, there were kids sliding down big slides next to me ...

dream #2: happened two nights ago, but it was the night before my wedding and i was freaking out because i didn't have a wedding dress and all the stores were closed.

dream #3: happened today during a nap, it was the day of my wedding in a big beautiful catholic church, and i had this tiara and big poofy white dress (ick!) and my dad showed up during the last second to walk me down the aisle with a green barong (???) but then kevin's uncle, who is the pastor marrying us, told me i couldn't walk down the aisle normally. i had to enter through this side door, follow all these spiral patterns on the floor, and kevin was nowhere to be found! i kept looking to the front and he wasn't there! finally we realized he was just sitting in the front aisle chillin', and then they made us sit in this weird place in the center, and kevin just cracked jokes the entire time..... but no one was laughing at his jokes.....

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA POOR KEV. so random! I'm guessing that this is just my weird manifestations of stress before the wedding.

Speaking of which, PRAISE GOD because we have a venue for the reception! Here are the websites for the church and restaurant : http://fbcelsegundo.wordpress.com/

and http://www.reefrestaurant.com/the_reef/

Our wedding will take place March 3, 2012 at First Baptist Church of El Segundo, followed by a reception at The Reef Restaurant in Long Beach, CA. I'm so excited to be Leigh Ann Gausselin :) no more of this Hernandez ish! lol

Random fact: My dad isn't even a Hernandez anymore. His parents divorced when he was little, and he was really angry with his dad for never being there for him, so he changed his last name legally in his 30's to his mom's maiden name: Villasana. i got so mad at him bc he was too lazy to change the paperwork for me! i was like WHY AM I A HERNANDEZ? my dad and mom aren't even hernandez's! i was THISclose to changing it in high school, but it cost too much and the paperwork was annoying. kevin still remembers me telling him about it when we were younger and he was sad about it because i was the special "leigh ann hernandez" of his life haha

yayuhh

"But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs..."-1 Timothy 6:6-10

woohoo!!!!! Praise the Lord, He is so good, He provided me with a part-time caregiver job!!! :) and the coolest part about it is that it's all day Saturdays (for now) meaning that I will still be able to be involved in all the other ministry opportunities throughout the week (College & Career Bible Study, Friday Night High School Bible Study, Excellent Wives Ministry...) Kevin and I still have tons of wedding planning to follow through with also, and we've visited 11 venues this past month and a half! We are killing it! Not really. We only have 4-5 months left to plan!

God actually convicted me this past month about the dangers of loving money. I told Ate Rona my discipler about it, how I've never really had an income, sure I had summer jobs before, but it's only a matter of time before I work full time as an LVN. The last thing I wanted was to hate my role as a wife in the home...So she's been reminding me about the importance of giving, and how God provides the necessities of life! Ahhh....I'm just really happy I have some sort of income! Those college loans and debt need to be paid off! Woo! It's so nice knowing God is taking care of everything :)

22 going on 23

"every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father.."

-james 1: 17a

man o man, what a year. i'm home and reminiscing about the highs and lows of my 22nd year of life and there were so many things that have happened. my mom's been on my case about getting my hair layered and thinned out so today i got out of class around 145, then arrived at the vietnamese place in westminster (lol hey it's cheap and they do it good ok ;) around 230 and as the nice man cut my hair (the last time he cut it was the day i got engaged! he is strangely around during monumental stepping stones of my life ha!) i prayed and just was really happy that God blessed me so much these last 2 decades! i'm going to be 23 in a few hours and it's just SO nice! i'm so happy! and i have so much to look forward to. for all i know, maybe i won't have much more time on this earth. then again, maybe i'll live longer than any of the friends my age (how depressing, id be like LORD BRING ME HOME !!! lol)

Lows of my 22nd year:

1. Going through many family members not supporting my engagement and having many of them discourage me and tell me I was making a mistake bc i was too young, not financially stable, etc. especially all the crazy comments from my dad!!! ahh he's crazy lol of course, they all LOVE kevin so they did make it a point to say "we do think it's the right guy, just not the right time" ..eventually they came to accept it though. i'm like: mmhmm that's right lol ;) yipee!

2. Gaining a lot of weight being made fun of for it :'(..and now, i know, a lot of girls go "omg i'm sooo fat and i gained soo much weight" bla bla and you kinda just wanna roll your eyes and smack them bc they are like 90 pounds lol but this is for real! i started nursing weighing like 120-125 and now i'm 145 lbs!! I'M LIKE WHOA MAMAZ WHAT HAPPENED?!?! hahahhaa well lets just say people say you gain weight while in nursing school, and statistically most couples gain weight together. ahh why did it have to happen at the same time?! no worries though. imma lose it and scare people at my wedding bc im aiming for the anorexic look (jk jk!)

3. Nursing school was harder than I expected, but that's also because I didn't study as hard. I also really struggled with mean instructors who snap and are impatient (and tomorrow I start at another clinical site with another mean instructor..err!) but hey, i guess i'm being prepared for the real world that way. Not every nurse I run into is going to be nice and helpful to students or patients (which is the reason why I primarily wanted to be a lawyer prosecuting nurses who were negligent and I wanted to specialize in malpractice)...and guess where I am now! Working amongst those specific nurses...lol I do know God is sanctifying me through these experiences though. I'm really happy with all i've learned in nursing!

HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH...THERE!

1. OF COUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE BEING PURSUED BY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND THEN GETTING ENGAGED!!!! Woot woooooot!!!! Nothing like it!!!! ..GOD IS GOOD AND GRACIOUS and He gave me a future husband who will lead me and our future bebes to godly living! yayyy!!!! lol Aww. I'm so happy to be with Kevin. my looove! i also like to say that my love verse for him is psalm 37:4 "delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." at that point in my life i really didnt need any body, i was so happy with God, and i just harassed kevin bc he knew more Bible and i wanted to milk him for all his worth and steal parts of his brain and heart hahaha but heyyy i guess he fell for me too as he pursued God ;) aww man i really miss those days of last summer where we both served in ministry!!! ahh paul, i totally understand what you mean by how good it is to be single to spend most of your time not devoted to earthly matters like finances (1 cor 7). I never see him anymore, and that's also a super high of this year:

2. God blessing Kevin with a second job. That was one of my family's major concerns (bc when he first pursued me, he was only working part time at BJ's...now he works 6o-70 hours, as a Medical Claims Examiner at Caremore and also part time at BJ's)...we prayed for Kevin to get a second job so that he could support me as a husband, since I wouldnt be done with school and my Nclex until November...so that was just a nice reminder of Matthew 6:33 :) Seek his will and his righteousness and God will provide the necessities homies! God is so sweet! <3 <3 <3

3. Nursing....YES, the same low is also the same high. lol amazingly enough I feel like I really enjoy caring for the sick and I also realized how much I love babies bc after seeing one born it's like I'm addicted to wanting to see and help more come out of pregnant women! ahhh babies :) I also really love the people I've met in class, and I love hanging out with friends like Angelica and Alona. I dunno, it's really nice bc in the university setting it's difficult to make friends in huge classrooms.

4. Being in ministry at SBCAC...although it was sporadic bc of the limitations of timing with nursing, I had SUCH a blast helping out with VBS and also teaching sunday school and high school ministry...I just loved serving...I dunno...nothing like serving God and His people!

ANYYYYWAYYYZZZZ....that's a long enough post for now. PRAISE GOD FOR ANOTHER YEAR! I'm so happy and looking forward to so many things!

Things to look forward to in my 23rd year (can you tell I like making numbered bullet points?):

1. Finishing nursing school (graduating and taking my NCLEX in November)!

2. GETTING MURRRRRRIEEED!!! YEAYUHHH!!!! Time to spend every morning waking up to my husband and never having to say "goodbye" at the end of the day to separate :( ahh!!! YIPEEE!!! Change of name too: Leigh Ann Gausselin....wait, what...? did you say...Leigh Ann GAUSSELIN?? ahhh :)

Haha well of course we know that God inspires us in the book of James never to plan anything, but instead to say "if God wills.." So many things can happen the next few months! Maybe the rapture will happen and we'll all be in the sky...kevin and i always joke that we will try to get married as we are floated up just to say we got married before we got to heaven haha! holding hands and everything and trying to force pastor to say it as we get closer to Jesus "i pronounce you man and...oh HI JESUS!!!" hahaha or , in a horrible sense, God might take one of us home. And that would be heartbreaking but i also like to try to keep in mind that whatever God wants will happen and it's for the best.

Whatever happens this next year: God is still God, and He is still good, and man I am happy resting in His love and grace :)

PEACE OUT 22. WHAT IT DO 23??? ahhhh praise God. i'm so hyper i wanna go around and chase some ducks or something

rest

I called in sick today for clinicals. My throat was scratchy, I had a headache, and I had a lot of snot coming out of my nose (TMI!!) lol but it was nice to just not stress out and relax at home....

I can't wait to graduate from nursing!!!! One more month plus a week and I'm OUT. Praise God! I need strength lol

"i'm too busy not to pray"

my body is so tired!!!! ahhhhhhhh!!!! and then there's camp this weekend. i hope i don't get sick (i already feel kinda funkayyy) noooo!!! Lord keep me healthy lol

but anywho, God is really good. one of the nicest ways to start out my day is to pray on the way to school. and this is usually the order in which i pray:

1. thanking God (what can u NOT thank him for?!?!) for waking up, for being who He is, for having me alive and healthy, for salvation in Jesus....

2. confessing my sins (always! man i am far beyond perfect. thank God for Christ's righteousness being given to me :)

3. praying for my family's salvation, like my mom and dad and big big butt and billy (ate rona totally called me out on dishonoring my parents, it's really difficult for me when they don't have the same beliefs and completely different moral standards....but if i am in the Spirit and they are not, why aren't i heartbroken and mourning? i told ate rona that sometimes it's just draining and too sad, that i'd rather ignore it, but she's right. it's so easy to "wish my family was different' when really i'm the one who needs to change! God help me. it's also strangely easier for me to be nicer to my dad even though he's let us down more than my mom. i guess cuz my mom's always been there...)

4. praying for my love (for kevin's energy bc he works 60+ hrs, poor thing! for his spiritual walk, for our relationship to be holy and pleasing to God, for our future family and children, for our finances (kevin's 2nd job is still temporary, and i have a lot of loans to pay off so hopefully i get a job asap after i graduate and pass everything i need to) ahhh i love praying for Kevin! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY! praise God. i still can't believe God gave him to me :)

5. praying for church family (pastor/pastors in training)/married couples (MANG divorce is prevalent! we need protection!!!) my discipler, those i disciple

6. praying for girllll friends/some guy friends haha ;) this takes a while. i'm not going to list them haha

7. praying for school and being a good witness and passing everything

and then i just kinda chat a little with God after that. if i don't have a set routine i usually forget what i wanna pray about so this is helping out a bit, though of course i can always pray more deeply! it's tough to stay focused on God. 20 minutes in a car isn't really enough when one thinks about it.

late night thoughtzzZZzzZZ

Oh my goodness, August is almost over! Time flies. To be completely honest, these past few months have been strange and very testing. A lot of stuff has been going on with some sisters in Christ, then my family has their own set of problems, and I am having a tough time dealing with really mean and condescending nursing instructors/nurses in clinical settings. But! Thank the Lord I have so many truths and promises to keep in mind:

"In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other..." (Ecclesiastes 7:14a)

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end" (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4)

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. God is so good to me. I wish I would always respond in thankfulness as opposed to bitterness/sadness when times get tough. Thank the Lord that I have a discipler who points me to Christ and to whom I can run and call when I need advice as a young woman growing in the Lord. I just need to endure and persevere. Every tough time has been planned by God to occur in order for me to become more like Christ, it's for my good. Uncle John kept stressing that during marriage counseling bc I opened up to him a lot about my past and background. Easier said than done. I need prayer!

I feel like I barely if ever see Kevin anymore. Also, after this week, in the month of September I'll have night clinicals. Meaning I will see him less!!! WHYYYY!!! lol I miss him so much. Oh wellzies! This is meant to be also, hopefully just for a season. Then we can get married and I can stare at him all the time O__O until he tells me to go away lol

God is good. Praise Him!