new chapter

just decided to make another blog! here's the link for those of you interested in following :) http://leighanngausselin.blogspot.com/

praise God from whom all blessings flow

I am constantly amazed at how faithful and gracious God is, and how He provides for me and Kevin, especially during this whole wedding planning process! I am also really embarrassed (and humbled) by how sinful, stressed, and not trusting I have been for His provisions. Let me give a few examples learned throughout this engagement season:

1) When Kevin pursued me, he told me that it would only be a matter of months before he put a ring on my finger. He couldn't give me a ring as soon as he wanted because he was only working part time at BJ's, and didn't have enough money. So what did I do once I got home? I told my family all about it, and was grilled and discouraged from going through this plan. But I wanted them to get used to the idea as soon as possible, as opposed to finding out 7 months later without a warning! After lots of tears and sadness, and venting AND praying to God.... eventually:

God blessed Kevin with another full time job, so Kevin started working two jobs simultaneously. And my family finally accepted the fact that Kevin and I were going to get married, and I no longer have to defend marrying him.

2) Kevin and I knew that we had no money to spend on a nice reception for the wedding, so we opted for a potluck dinner. I was sinfully stressed out and sad about this, because my mom (being a typical filipina mom, wanting the best for her daughter) wanted me to have something more grand. So I prayed for God to hopefully give me a nice reception, to please my mom, and to prevent people from voicing out their disapproval....eventually:

God somehow stirred my dad to pay for a reception. Out of the blue, he called and said, "Ugh, well, I guess I have to pay for your reception. Otherwise, everyone will gossip about how bad of a dad I am." Well, not the best way of offering to pay for a reception, but hey! I was thankful! My dad picked me up and we went over to BJ's and had Kevin stop by our table as he was working, and broke the news to him! Kevin was really surprised and said, "Wow, I'm so happy, I could start calling you 'Dad!'" But my dad was like, "Oh man, don't get ahead of yourself there, buddy. I'm not ready for that!" HAHA! Great memories! My mom was also very happy when she found out!

3) I was discouraged because of the lack of money I had for a wedding dress, veil, shoes. I was stressed out about details for all the wedding logistics (attendants, ushers, singers, flowers, unity candle, aisle runner, rehearsal dinner, where the girls and guys would get ready the day of, tables, DJ, transportation, etc.) and also had no idea how to help Jamie since she is Maid of Honor and was trying to come up with ideas for a Bachelorette Party and a Wedding Shower event...eventually:

God provided for everything, yet again! Kevin saw how sad I was over not being able to buy a dress, so he bought me a dress (he didn't see it, of course, that would be kept a surprise til the day of the wedding!) And a friend who just recently got married, Jane, bought two pairs of shoes for her wedding and had an extra, and gave those to me as a gift! And I am also now borrowing the veil of another friend who got married recently, Dayne! We have a DJ. We have ushers (some fellas from church-Micah, Fred, etc). We have a videographer (Jeremy, accompanied by Russell). We have wedding coordinators (Thomas, and Auntie Susie!) And as for Jamie and her planning, the Galindos graciously opened up their home for my Bachelorette Party (they are also singing the first song to our first dance at the wedding reception), a few women from the Excellent Wives ministry will help transport flowers from the ceremony to the reception...I really am just SO blessed with a church family who is so willing to help and lend a hand whenever we are in need! And just last night, I had dinner with Kevin, his mom and dad, his brother Mike (who is the Best Man) and Jamielyne. What a blessing that was! We all sat around the dinner table, and Mike and Jamie were going through this whole schedule they came up with for the Wedding Shower, and me and Kevin's mom were talking about flowers, and Kevin's dad and him were talking about the unity candle...And we got so much done! Today we had marriage counseling and also finished up a lot of logistics. It was so encouraging!

4) Kevin and I were so bogged down with the planning for the wedding, that we didn't really have any plans for the honeymoon. As long as we got the wedding day to go smoothly was our priority. I really wanted to have a honeymoon somewhere though. I didn't stress out as much about this, but prayed for God to hopefully bless us with one. Not long after...

God answered! I got a text from Jamie during a Marriage Ministry event yesterday saying that her mom wanted to give us a honeymoon as a present, and we would stay at her TimeShare in Vegas! She would be reserving it starting Sunday (the day after the wedding) to Thursday. Kevin and I were ecstatic! And then today, during Marriage Counseling (with Kevin's uncle who is the pastor marrying us, along with his wife Auntie Susie) Auntie Susie, who is like one of the sweetest, godliest women in the entire world, offered to get us a hotel room for our first night as a married couple! Kevin and I were like WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!! So sweet! We are so undeserving!


Kevin proposed after 7 months of being boyfriend/girlfriend. And technically, we have been engaged for 9 months. I cannot believe how ridiculous my heart is, and how much I do NOT trust in the Lord! Ridiculous! I mean, it's really easy to just have head knowledge for trusting in Him, knowing He would provide. There are many passages in the Scriptures which speak of this subject. Unfortunately, the hardest part about reading Scriptures and memorizing verses is actually applying it, and living it out! Easier said than done, definitely in my case. I kept in mind during this whole process Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." I knew God would provide the necessities. In my sinful state, I wanted extra! And amazingly enough, God provided for ALL of it! So undeserving! It's like a smack to my face, Leigh Ann, stop worrying, stop stressing, don't let what other people say affect you negatively.

So, as a lesson, if I think that wedding planning is sanctifying, I know that marriage is truly sanctifying. A wedding is for one day. A marriage is for a lifetime! I've really just set my heart to memorize this verse and just rest on its truth for this first year (and ALL THE YEARS) of marriage.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." -Philippians 4:4-8

Thank God for teaching me a lesson: He provides! No stressing, no anxiety, no sadness. I just need to rejoice in Him. Woo!

who's cool?

Joshua just came into my room:

"Leigh! Why did you take the fan out of my room??"
"Josh! Did you know that I drove Mom around since morning and the air conditioner doesnt work and now it's 4pm and I've been sweating all day!"
"Leigh! Did you know that today I ran a mile during P.E.? By the third lap I decided to give up and get an F for a day. All my friends were running and I was the only one who was walking."

GHETTOOOOO. Now he's sitting on my floor massaging my foot as we enjoy the fan together hahahahhaha

We're gonna head to Friday Night bible study in a few hours. We are excited because a lot's gonna go down ;)

ridiculosity

I asked my dad what he wanted to dance to for our father daughter dance, and he goes, "Oh, we'll dance to that Titanic theme song by Celine Dion!" and I was like "WHAT!!! WHY?????" and then he goes "Just kidding! Actually I know...what's that song from the big black man?" And I go, "Luther Vandross? Dance with my Father?" "Yeah! That one!" And I go, "Dad...that song is about a dad who passes away." And he goes, "GOOD. I'll die in the middle of dancing with you! I hope I have a heart attack!" And then he laughed hysterically....

He also plans on having all his friends cheer really loudly when the DJ does the Bridal Party introduction of him and my mom at the reception, and that he wants them to be completely silent once me and Kevin are called in. And I laughed at him, "Dad, you underestimate how loud my church is...and my college buds!" And he rolled his eyes.

Joshua is laughing throughout all of this and goes, "Leigh! This is really important. You want Kevin and the guys to look good right? We need to have Gucci suits."

I'm glad the family men in my life have their priorities straight haha

babies!

One of my beautiful sisters in Christ is blessed, and about to give birth! Praise the Lord! Children are a gift and blessing from the Lord! Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127: 3-5) This is such an exciting time! I cannot wait to see how God grows her family, as well as the rest of the young married couples I know! So beautiful!!!! Praise the Lord!

Since I am about to get married too, I am undoubtedly assaulted with two questions:

What if God makes me pregnant sooner than Kevin and I want/suspect?
What if God makes me barren, and I won't have any children?

Kevin and I want to have children after 5 years of being married, since he is still in school, and I am debating whether or not I should go back for further schooling for an Accelerated Bachelors Degree in Nursing.

However, in the most asked question after being married "When do you plan on having babies?" comes the assumed approach...


Birth control!

Warning: This blog entry will be very different from my past entries. It will be more of an objective approach to the topic of birth control being acceptable. Of course, this is to be assumed that it comes after marriage, between a man and woman as husband and wife.

This has been a very widely debated issue within the Church, and many positions have changed and are changing. It's also not usually talked about much nor have I heard any sermons about it (In fact, I usually only hear about it from engaged/married women, if they are asked, but few Christian men feel comfortable talking about it in depth, either from uncomfortable feelings or lack of knowledge on the subject). But I grew up Catholic, and it shocked me when I, as an unsaved 18 year-old, found out that Protestant Christians were okay with artificial birth control! (Artificial birth control includes, but is not limited to: condoms, the pill, the intra-uterine device, etc.) But, lo and behold, there are still Christian denominations who believe the use of birth control is sinful. (Catholics believe that is okay for marriage couples to abstain from sex in marriage during fertile times in the calendar, also known as NFP, Natural Family Planning...)

What are the reasons for people using birth control? Many times I hear (and say and reason to myself):
"We are not ready, because we do not have enough money. We don't want our kids to grow up poor and struggling!"
"What's the hurry? We want to enjoy each other for a while first."
"I don't want to end up like that lady in that famous show 19 and counting!"
"Well, even if we do use birth control, if God wants it to happen, it will happen nonetheless."

Apparently, Protestants and Catholics alike held the position for quite a while that artificial birth control is sinful and against the will of God. It was only in 1930 at the Lambeth Conference in London that the Protestant Church (technically, the Anglican Church, but many Protestant denominations followed suite afterward...) changed her position, saying it was okay for birth control to be used.

Many of the advocates against birth control use biblical support: one of the best ones I believe is Onan from Genesis 38-10. In Deuteronomy 25:5-6, the Levitical law stated that if a man died and left behind a widow, the brother of the dead man would take his place and produce offspring! Onan knew this, and was told by the father to marry his broski's widow, but each time they came together in sexual union he would "spill his seed" on the ground. What did God do? He killed him! However, the customary punishment is public humiliation (Deuteronomy 25:7-10). Therefore, Onan must have done a far worse sin, and that is spilling of his seed. Many Christians who do not hold this view say Onan was punished that way because of the evil intentions of his heart, and that this cannot be used as a foundation for the use of birth control being sinful.

Let's see what our beloved Martin Luther said about Onan and how it relates to birth control: "The exceedingly foul deed of Onan, the basest of wretches . . . is a most disgraceful sin. It is far more atrocious than incest and adultery. We call it unchastity, yes, a sodomitic sin. For Onan goes in to her; that is, he lies with her and copulates, and when it comes to the point of insemination, spills the semen, lest the woman conceive. Surely at such a time the order of nature established by God in procreation should be followed. Accordingly, it was a most disgraceful crime. . . . Consequently, he deserved to be killed by God. He committed an evil deed. Therefore, God punished him." 

John Calvin said, "The voluntary spilling of semen outside of intercourse between man and woman is a monstrous thing. Deliberately to withdraw from coitus in order that semen may fall on the ground is doubly monstrous. For this is to extinguish the hope of the race and to kill before he is born the hoped-for offspring." 

John Wesley warned, "Those sins that dishonor the body are very displeasing to God, and the evidence of vile affections. Observe, the thing which he did displeased the Lord—and it is to be feared; thousands, especially of single persons, by this very thing, still displease the Lord, and destroy their own souls."

Luther has more to say: “Although it is very easy to marry a wife, it is difficult to support her along with the children and the household. Accordingly, no one notices this faith of Jacob. Indeed, many hate fertility in a wife for the sole reason that the offspring must be supported and brought up. For this is what they commonly say: ‘Why should I marry a wife when I am a pauper and a beggar? I would rather bear the burden alone and not load myself with misery and want.’ But this blame is unjustly fastened on marriage and fruitfulness. Indeed, you are indicting your unbelief by distrusting God’s goodness, and you are bringing greater misery upon yourself by disparaging God’s blessing. For if you had trust in God’s grace and promises, you would undoubtedly be supported. But because you do not hope in the Lord, you will never prosper.” (Luther’s Works, Vol. 5, p.332).

Charles Spurgeon was also against birth control. Al Mohler is also straight up against contraception! (Well, technically, he just mentions that there are more negatives to positives in regards to birth control--promiscuity, irresponsible pleasure, etc.)

Those who do not think that Onan is an appropriate Biblical foundation for the argument against birth control think that this issue is between the wife, husband, and the Lord. And whatever the Lord convicts them of, whether it be using birth control or not, should remain a private matter. Also, if the whole argument for those against birth control is that it is preventing life, even though it's not killing it, will soon be faced with the question: Well, if you abstain from sex for a day, aren't you also preventing life? Married couples should be consummating all the time, then! If you abstain for a long time, you're possibly preventing life!

Today one of the best known Christian figures known for his pro-life position is Randy Alcorn. Randy Alcorn wrote books called Prolife Answers to Prochoice Arguments and Does the birth control pill cause Abortions? Some birth control pills do not prevent pregnancy. The majority of women on the pill are on low-dose birth control pills, which do not prevent conception but prevents the implantation of an already fertilized ovum to the uterine wall (Norplant and IUD's do this too!) Scary thing is: most women are on low-dose estrogen pills and do not know this fact.

Little known fact about me: I am very supportive/passionate of pro-life movements and clinics, and my dream job would either be working as a Biblical teacher for women, or as a nurse for babies and children, or specifically working in a Pro-life clinic (in that order). I've looked around for places to volunteer and wouldn't mind making a life-long career out of helping women save their babies when they feel pressured by culture to abort..ugh! If you haven't heard of Greg Koukl, who is a famous Christian figure who wrote books like Tactics and the founder of Stand to Reason, his wife is amazing! They adopted their children, and she helps lead a pro-life clinic, and holds seminars/activities, giving free ultrasounds, for these pregnant women who feel hopeless and scared! NOW THAT is something I wouldn't mind making a career out of, how noble!) Kevin said he seriously hates it when people say "It's not a baby, it's just a fetus!" He was like, "Did you know that 'fetus' in Latin means 'offspring'..aka BABY! So essentially they are saying, "It's not a baby, it's just a baby!" Ay ay ay...

Another one of the arguments against the use of birth control is the verse of "Go forth and Multiply" in Genesis. I didn't go into depth on that because I think it's a weak argument. I am also against the QuiverFull movement, which uses the command of God "Go forth and multiply!" as a basis for having numerous children (let's go back again to the family in 19 and counting...)




Well, there are many arguments in favor of and against contraception. It's one of those things where you wonder if there's ever a "yes" or "no" answer. And of course, it can be debated about for hours on end. This blog entry wasn't as structured as I would've liked, so I apologize!

I'd love to hear opinions/beliefs from anyone who comes across this blog. Is it okay to use birth control after you're married, or is it sinful?

musings.

This past year has been CRAZY. I really cannot believe that there's two more days of 2011 left! Where does all the time go? It seems to pass by faster and faster as I grow older.

I actually wrote a post a few days ago about everything I've been going through in regards to the death of my grandfather, and deleted it a few hours later. It really is strange to say goodbye to someone you love a lot, and to only hope in God's sovereignty and have no complete assurance about his whereabouts in the next life. I was crying as I typed, and I wrote with transparency (which is something I don't usually struggle with, I've actually been called out for being "too transparent") but that's the weird thing about me...once something really hurts or just bothers me, I don't say anything. But a million things go on in my head and in my heart. All I can say is: thank you for your prayers, and thank you to my good friends who asked me how I was doing. I usually shrugged it off with an "I'm okay, these things happen." But I was hurting. And sad. It bothered me a lot.

One of the good things that came out of this season of my family's life is that we are all closer and more loving. I guess it's times where you lose such important people in your life, that you stop caring about the silly dumb things. That happened to me, anyway, and I'm not worried about my wedding at all. I still have strange dreams (the other night, I had a dream I was at my wedding and never saw Kevin! We kissed and he disappeared. And another where tons of people didn't show up and we wasted a lot of money!) But anyways, I'm just really happy that I'm going to start a new chapter of my life with my best friend, and to experience the joys of marriage. Praise God!

I have a lot of things I need to hand over to God. Such as: being fiercely protective over my girl friends. I've heard the quote "You are what you protect." And I guess it just really strikes a nerve in me to see my girlfriends hurt by Christian men, especially since so much of my life has been watching the women in my family getting hurt. When Christian men hurt women, it doesn't really make sense to me. Of course, they do not intend to (I can only pray and hope). Sometimes, they may not even know what they do wrong, which I still have a hard time dealing with. Anyways, I have a lot of single girl friends and this past year was RIDICULOUS. Maybe it's just this year specifically. But every close girl friend of mine seemed to get hurt by men who were so called Christian! So many stories, so many tears, so much anger boiled within me. I was goin' crazy! I was ready to go all Xena Warrior Princess status on all those guys' butts!!!!! For real!!!! I really need to pray to God for me to be kinder and gracious to those men. At a party, I saw one of them and didn't say anything, but I had like seven people asking me what was wrong! I guess it's written on my face. Or, I'm usually so loud and laughy that when I'm not everyone is worried. Dang... Only God knows what I'll be like if I'm the mother of tons of daughters. Honestly, I only want one daughter. Knowing God, I'll have like 7!! AHHHH!!!! Pray for me about this. I'm very protective of all my girl friends. I'm not excusing the men who hurt them, but I am going to have to answer to God one day and I just want to be more like Christ in this area of my life. It's only inevitable that some of my girl friends will be hurt within the next few years :( I am so blessed to have Kevin as my future husband, and that my prayers have been answered. I am so undeserving, and I guess I shouldn't be comparing every guy to him. But in a sense, and I'm speaking to my fellow engaged, married, or soon to be married gals: don't you want every girl to have a guy like yours? (I don't even know how I would respond if someone answered "No." lol)

Oh, and another quote I loved that I heard this year: "The best thing a father can do for his daughter is love her mother." And I had to think about it for a long time because it made very little sense to me, so I had to imagine what it would've been like for my dad to love my mom. Of course, I can say "Oh, that means it will set the standard for the man the daughter will desire to marry in the future." But it's different when you never experienced it.

Lots of reflection over the past year, and I'm only more aware of how pathetic and sinful I am. God is so gracious. I mean, I knew I was sinful, but MAN i am sinful! Ridiculous! This human nature thing is crampin' my style! HAHA. But anyways, God's really humbled me in many areas of my life...bringing to light parts of me that need to be conformed to what He wants, my fears, my idols, my anger toward anyone who hurts my girls...

It's really nice to have quiet time and reflection with God, and thus the revealing of sin occurs! It's really cool reading what God has said in the Bible too! I'm kind of freaking out and excited, because I'm closer to my goal of reading the entire bible! I just need to read the major and minor prophets. TOO BAD THAT'S LIKE THE TOUGHEST FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND, INTERPRET, AND APPLY!!!!!!!!! I dont know about anyone else, but man...seriously? I read the first 5 chapters of Isaiah today, and was like, "Israel...is such a bad nation!" HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO APPLY THAT TO MY LIFE??? Of course, I am sinful, just like the Israelites (Random fact: did you know that "Israelites" refers to the old Israel, like in Biblical times, so it's considered not correct to use that term for current Israel? That's why they call them "Israelis" today) And I do not hold to the belief that God has replaced Israel with the church. THIS STUFF IS HARD! Or maybe I'm just a dummy. Scratch that, I totally am. But I'm excited :) It's my first time reading the major and minor prophets!

Just wanted to blog before the year ends. Thank you, God, for everything. For being so gracious to a sinner like me! I'm such a coo coo and yet you love me. I can't wait to hug You :) One day.

sneak peak

LOVE IT!