on point

And I don't want no one if I cant have you
a world of illusion
But baby you're true
I know I deceived you I once told you lies
If you don't believe me
Just look in my eyes

(lyrics from "Mother just can't get enough" by New Radicals)

changes.

and lots of it.

it's comforting to know that God is sovereign. What a week!

as Jamie likes to put it, "Gahhhh!!! God, why are you so crazy?!??!" lolll

Jonathan Edwards' perspective on his future wife, Sarah

Clearly smitten, he was. And she was only 13 while he was 20 when he wrote this!

"They say there is a young lady in [New Haven] who is beloved of that almighty Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything, except to meditate on him--that she expects after a while to be received up where he is, to be raised out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that he loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from him always. There she is to dwell with him, and to be ravished with his love, favor and delight, forever. Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and sweetness of temper, uncommon purity in her affections; is most just and praiseworthy in all her actions; and you could not persuade her to do anything thought wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness and universal benevolence of mind; especially after those times in which this great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about, singing sweetly, from place to [place]; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure, and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, and to wander in the fields and on the mountains, and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her."

birthday girl...22 years-old!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAA!!!!

Another year of life has been granted to me, and I am just so thankful to God for the ways He's provided and the lessons He's taught...I am so immensely blessed! Goodness. I spent some quiet time today just reminiscing on all the work God has done, and these past 4 years since I was saved have been really...eventful! It's almost as if life before becoming a believer is a blur. And I really look forward to the next few decades, if God wills I live that long. Pruning is really tough to go through (John 15) but extremely necessary, and I am really just going through some stuff that makes me grit my teeth and wince, but I praise God bc I know that He is faithful and I just need to really apply the Word to my daily life...good times and bad. It's really humbling, especially during times of confession, coming to the reality that I am just so sinful and that I really need to completely depend on God, which is really difficult because my nature and pride really make me want to be self-sufficient. Praise God too, some stuff from my past is being resolved and reconciliation is occurring...man, it's been a crazy year!

I absolutely love this poem by Blair Wingo, and the link is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjO9NCkTsF8

My favorite lines within her poem include these words:

"All of that was bound to decay, and you took my breath away...When the world's tryin to holla at me, im like pleeease...because i'm happily in a relationship with the King of Kings!...I wanna love your Word so much that I finish your sentences, well, or at least remember the Scripture references. I want to know you so intimately that my friends get nervous, because they think i'm looking too much like you too fast! ...I'm gonna think about him all day long...You deserve that and so much more...See you didn't just say that you love me, but you clearly made it known, left your throne...But because you so loved the world, you gave so that whosoever would believe would not perish, you willingly took my place so i could have a spiritual marriage. Love is an interesting word we throw around so casually, but God is love! ...help us that we would love you with an outward expression, help us to see that your love is so much more than just a confession"

Oh, love! How can my heart not beat faster and my breath be taken away by the God of the Universe? Amazing. (I feel like such a girl when I say stuff like this, but hey, it's the way we process things okay lol ....but seriously, this poem is pretty legit and just grasps the way girls fall for guys when really their hearts should be devoted to the lover of our souls)...

Praise God for another year of life! My past is interesting and my future is hopeful, so I'll continue striving toward the goal of life...

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude..." -Philippians 3:13-15

I AM SO EXCITED!